Situation Management

A crowded airline flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"

Without flinching, the agent smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Learn not only how to survive the storm, but also how to dance in the rain.

施氏食獅史

《施氏食獅史》是一篇由中國語言學家趙元任所寫的設限文章，全文共92字 ，每字的普通話讀音相近（拼音為 shi），只有聲調相異. 全文摘錄如下:


                   《施氏食獅史》

     石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。

     氏時時適市視獅。

     十時，適十獅適市。

     是時，適施氏適市。

     氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。

     氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。

     石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。

     石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。

     食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅屍。

     試釋是事。

若以普通話讀出, 將為如下:

                  « Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »

     Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
     Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
     Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
     Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
     Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
     Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
     Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
     Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
     Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
     Shì shì shì shì.

The English translation is as follows:

                « The Story of Mr Shi Eating Lions »

In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.

黎明在 « 玻璃之城 »  一片中, 亦有一句對白 (共七字):

"西施死時四十四"

亦屬異曲同功. 唯獨是規模畧小一點而已.

The Thief And The Con Man

A thief and a con man entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the thief stole 3 chocolate bars.
After they left the store, the thief said to the con man, "Man, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that." The con man replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you the real stealing."

So they went to the counter and the con man said to the shopkeeper, "Do you want to see some magic ?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes." The con man said: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The con man then asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shopkeeper was perplexed and asked: "But where's the magic?" The con man replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate."