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(This billboard was seen on Pennant Hills Road, Thornleigh in Dec 09)

The Twelve Days of Christmas

We recently bought a Samsung side-by-side refrigerator from Bing Lee in Carlingford. It came with a special Christmas bonus. It was a huge 5.8-kg frozen turkey. This gave us a bit of a headache as we don't know what to do with it.
Luckily, my daughter Veronica will be back from Canberra for the Christmas holiday. We will give Veronica this big piece of meat. We will also give her some suggested recipes of turkey meals from Woolworths. This will keep Veronica busy during the holidays, making turkey meals every day, and we will hear Veronica sing with joy:

"On the first day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - turkey pie.
On the second day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - turkey soup.
On the third day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - turkey salad.
On the fourth day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - turkey sandwich.
On the fifth day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - roast turkey.
On the sixth day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - BBQ turkey.
On the seventh day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - stuffed turkey.
On the eighth day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - sweet and sour turkey.
On the ninth day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - deep fried turkey.
On the tenth day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - turkey pasta.
On the eleventh day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - turkey pudding.
On the twelfth day of X'mas, my true love sent to me - turkey cake."

We envisage, after the holiday, Veronica will be more like a turkey :) and we will have the big animal disappeared from our fridge.

Qianlong Emperor and the Widow

I apologize this article may cause difficulty to non-Chinese-reading readers. But there is no way I can write this story completely in English without losing its original charisma.

One day Qianlong Emperor travelled to River South in plain clothes. He was late to find hotel accommodation in the evening. He came to a house where a widow lived. He asked the lady if he could have an overnight stay before he moved on the next day. Being alone by herself, the widow felt it was inappropriate for her to share the house with a guest. Without knowing the visitor was the emperor, she said that there was a rule in the house whereby all guests had to complete a couplet successfully before being admitted into the house. The widow then started off the first half of the couplet as follows:

寂寞守寒窗 寡室寧容賓客寓

Qianlong Emperor scratched his head for hours. He could only complete half of the second half:

逌遙遊遠道 ????????????????

So regrettably, Qianlong Emperor had to leave reluctantly and seek accommodation elsewhere.

Notes:
1. '寓' is used as a verb, meaning 'to stay'; and is pronounced as '如'.
2. This Chinese couplet can be translated (to the best of my ability) as follows:
'Alone staying in a solitary unit, how can this tiny house accommodate guests to stay?
Blissfully travelled to the far land, ?????????????????????????????????'
3. A couplet is a pair of sentences where the second sentence must match the first one grammatically word by word, term by term, phrase by phrase and finally sentence by sentence.
4. In addition, a good couplet would have the sentences matched in texture, and convey meaningfully certain messages. This couplet is regarded as one of the hardest (if not the hardest) in the sense that every word in the first sentence starts with the same radical, and it describes the situation the widow was in. Qianlong Emperor could only do similarly for the first half of the second part. Even though he could match the second half grammatically, he would not be able to find so many words with the same radical. That's why he failed.
5. If you can complete the couplet on behalf of Qianlong Emperor, he will knight you as the Scholar of the Year and award you a million dollar in gold.

Different Wave-lengths?

It's been ten years since we moved to Australia, yet I still have difficulties interacting with the locals.
I went to the McDonald's in Gordon with Johnson the other day after picking him up from school in the afternoon. I went to the counter for our orders with a girl. Here were our conversations:

I, "Fruit fizz.". Girl, "Fillet-O-fish?"
I, "Hamburger." Girl, "Apple pie?"

My goodness. What a difference!

How I started in IT

In the not-too-distant past (as it appeared to me), I finished my matriculation level (Form 7) study. As the result of my Advanced Level Examination was not good enough to earn me a place in the local universities, nor could I afford for an overseas tertiary education, I had but to look for jobs to start my working career. At that time, I thought Accounting was the best profession for me. I sent out mountains of application letters to all the major firms in Hong Kong for suitable accounting posts.
One day, I was asked to go for an interview in China Light and Power. I went to see the Head of the Accounts Department, Mr Nedderman. During the interview, Mr Nedderman didn't ask me anything about Accounting. Nor did he tell me anything about the accounting post I was applying for. He only asked me, "John, are you interested in working with computers?" I didn't have the faintest idea what computers were at that time, let alone I liked to work with them or not. So I hesitated, and said, "I don't know. But I'd like to know more." Mr Nedderman then took me for a tour to the computer room in China Light. It was a hugh farm of machineries. I was totally fascinated by the flickering lights of consoles and the fast rolling reels of magnetic tapes. Mr Nedderman introduced me to the manager of the computing department, and I ended up having an interview with him that day. I never saw Mr Nedderman again since then. A week later, I received a reply from China Light saying my application was not successful.
I felt very disappointed. But the meeting with Mr Nedderman had sparked my interest in computing. So I quickly re-focused. I did a bit of research of what computers were, and what were the major computing firms in Hong Kong. I applied to the two then giants: IBM (International Business Machines) and NCR (National Cash Register), and finally I got an offer from IBM for a post of Computer Operator. Thence, I started my 36-year career in the IT (Information Technology) industry: 2 in IBM, 28 in Cathay Pacific and 6 in Qantas.

Expect the unexpected. Sometimes things may turn out not as we wanted, but they may turn out even better. Prepare to re-focus and react. We can start from nothing, provided we learn and work hard.

Australian Encounters

If you have lived in Australia long enough, you probably have the following experiences:

. you wonder why the bus stop is always located at the junction of the streets where traffic is the busiest.
. you need to call up the customer services officers of utility companies at least 3 times to update your personal details.
. you are in a queue where the customer services officer chats at least 20 minutes with each person in front of you.
. you hear from the announcement the next train will be delayed for half an hour when you have already waited for an hour.
. you take the rail on bus (rail bus) to the City on Sundays, as train lines are shut down for maintenance.
. your kids go to Chatswood barefooted, and lick their fingers after eating ice creams.
. you see beautiful topless blonds lying in Bondi on a sunny day who will turn belly up when you walk across.
. the only thing that moves slower than continental drift is the traffic on Pacific Highway after you drop your kids to school in the morning.

Hong Kong Encounters

If you have lived in Hong Kong long enough, you probably have the following experiences:

. you eat the (almost) cheapest McDonald hamburger in the world (Big Mac Index, The Economist) for lunch.
. you travel on one of the most efficient train system in the world everyday; it takes you no time to change from one train line to another.
. you can't get off the train in Queensway as you move slightly slower than the incoming passengers.
. you hate that the only entertainments are shopping and dining only which you miss most when you are NOT in Hong Kong.
. you need a few seconds to think what to eat in Cafe de Coral, and the cashier has already asked the third person behind you for his orders.
. you shout to talk to your friend across the table at yum cha.
. you hit the lift button at least 5 times, thinking it will make it move faster.
. you have at least one gossip magazine at home at all times.
. you don't think you need to buy software for your computer.
. you queue up four days and four nights to get to the Book Exhibition in Convention Centre for an hour.
. the only thing that moves slower than continental drift is the crowd in Causeway Bay on a Saturday afternoon.

Toylet Story 2

If you go to a public toilet, chances are there are graffiti and dirty words and pictures everywhere.
I worked in Qantas from 1999 to 2005. I was in the Qantas Building near the Sydney Airport. One afternoon, I went to the toilet, into one of the tiny cubicles. I sat on the toilet pan and shut the door. Behind the door, there was a scribbled question:

'How do you find a blind man on a nudist beach?'

And the answer was, with a picture of a drooping man's dick beside it,

'It's not hard.'

Toylet Story

I had an artery bypass operation in 2006. I was in the Royal North Shore Hospital in Sydney for the surgery. The first 2 days, I was in a complete coma in the Intensive Care Unit under life supporting devices. The third day, I began to wake up. The fourth day, I was allowed out of the bed for simple movements.
I went to the toilet. After bowel movements, I tried to grab a few tissue papers to wipe the poo. Somehow the toilet roll slipped off my hand and fell onto the floor. It was just a few inches from my feet. I tried to pick it up. I kept on reminding myself that any minor accident at that time might be catastrophic. I moved in extreme slow motions. I stretched my arm. I bent down. I lowered my body in order to reach the roll. After 15 minute, I realized I was not able to pick up the toilet roll myself. Without risking further, I pressed the button and call the nurse to come in and help.

It might be little, simple and trivial. For a person needing help, a very tiny piece could be a most precious one.

Lose or Win? - Give and You Will be Given

I heard this story from the late Dr James Wong (Wong Jim). He said he heard the story from a Father in his secondary school, La Salle College (which happens to be my mother school too). Here the story goes.

Once upon a time, there was a man who went to the church everyday. He attended the mass, listened to the priest's preaching and prayed. One day after the mass, he went up to the priest and said, " Father, you asked us to donate and help people who are in need. I'd very much like to donate and help. But I'm a very poor man. I have only $10 left each day. And I'm a very sick person. I need to use this $10 to see the doctor and to buy medicine for myself. Father, I'd very much like to do what you said. But given my situation, what can I do?"
The priest looked at the man for a second. and said gently, "Son, can you try just for once not to think about yourself first, but to think about the people in need?" The man stood in silence for a moment. He then left the church and went home.
Next day, the man went to the church as usual. After the mass, the man went up to the altar, put his $10 into the donation box and went home.
A wonder happened. From that day, the man recovered from his long-time illness. He didn't need to go to see the doctor again. He didn't need to buy his medicine any more. Not only had he the money to continue to donate, but also he could save some money for himself.

This is not a story about miracles, not about anything superstitious. In fact, if one day you find you are able to do what you thought you could never do, you will have a great sense of satisfaction and happiness. If you feel happy inside you, your body will naturally become more physically strengthened. When you give out, it may seem you will lose the things you are giving out. But in fact, you will receive much more in return. The most immediate rewards are personal satisfaction and happiness. More often than not, there may be other things which will come subsequently in time, and which you may never even dream of.

This is Jesus' teaching:

"Give and you will be given"

The saying may be apparently paradoxical, but the story explains.

Sorry I was not able to retell the story as lively as James did. But I've tried my best to convey its essence.

Uncle Wai's Story

I went to my brother (Uncle Wai)'s funeral in Hong Kong last week. Uncle Wai passed away on 6th October, 2009 at the age of 66 due to heart function failure. His funeral service was held on 23-24th October, 09 (Fri-Sat).
Uncle Wai lived a relatively simple but happy life. He was married to Auntie Lai-fong for over 35 years and had a son and a daughter. In his last 10 to 15 years, he became very much involved in voluntary activities in his local Catholic church. He dedicated most of his private time in caring and helping elderly people in the parish. He always put his concern of other fellow members of the church even before his health. Here were some comments I gathered in the funeral service which provided some glimpses of the work he had done and what he had achieved:
One day the parish priest went to hold a burial ceremony for a member of the church in Cheung Sha Wan cemetery. He suddenly found Uncle Wai standing behind him whom he didn't expect. He asked Uncle Wai why he was there. Uncle Wai replied that he wanted to participate in the ceremony to pray for his friend. Knowing Uncle Wai's poor health, the priest had no way but to forbid him from going further up the hill for the burial ceremony.
Another Sunday morning, Uncle Wai was helping in organising activities for an excursion in the church for elderly people. Uncle Wai saw that there was no camera available. He thought the elderly usually would very much like to take pictures in those occasions. Without any hesitation, he rushed back home to get a camera, and returned with a redden face, continuously panting and said, " I got the camera".
On the very morning before Uncle Wai fell into coma, Sunday 4Oct, he still remembered that there was a function organised for the church community. He called up Auntie Lai-fong several times to remind her details of the activities, and asked her to call some elderly fearing them might not wake up early enough or they might have forgotten about the event.
At the close of the funeral service, another priest from the parish requested for one more minute. He said he has to say a few words about the day Uncle Wai passed away. Uncle Wai died at around 1:30 pm. A requiem mass was organised for him at 8 pm the same evening. Despite a very short notice, there was a massive turnout of attendance. The whole church was fully filled with relatives, friends and fellow members of the church. The priest was particularly moved as there were crowds of elderly people who just came for the hour-long mass to pay Uncle Wai's last respect and prayed for his passing. The priest said in his own words as 'cool' and 'exceptional'.

Uncle Wai was an ordinary person by most standards. It was his enthusiasm in caring and helping other people that made his story a very special one. Uncle Wai had given out much effort in concern of fellow members in the local church community. He also received much reward in personal satisfaction and happiness which we could see from his face whenever we met him.

Dumpling

Next time you take picture for others, say "dumpling".

'Dumpling' is 'Siu Mai'.
'Siu Mai' is 'smile'.

Story of the Starfish

It was a scorching sunny day. A man stood alone on a quiet beach watching the tides flowing and ebbing. One after the other, each wave washed a dozen of starfish onto the shore. As the wave receded, the starfish were left lying, drying and dying on the beach under the heat. Seeing the situation, the man bent down his body, picked up a dying starfish from the beach and threw it back into the water.
Wave after wave, hundreds and hundreds of starfish were washed onto the shore, left lying, drying and dying on the beach. Hour after hour, the man untiredly did exactly the same thing.
An onlooker watched for an hour. He saw heaps and heaps of starfish washed onto the shore, dried and died under the sun, and yet the man was able to save only a handful. He couldn't help but approached the man and asked, "Sir, do you think it's worth your effort?" and pointing to the sea of dead starfish, "Will it make a difference to them all?"

The man didn't stop. He continued to bend down, picked up a dying starfish from the beach, said calmly, " I don't know. I just know it will make a difference ...................... " and threw it far out into the sea with all his strength. " ............................... to this one."

Artificial Intelligence

Search engine is an internet tool built with artificial intelligence which searches the world wide web to find relevant information basing on user's input, sometimes guessing what the user wants.
I was in Hong Kong last November. It was 9 pm on a Tuesday night. I heard from the TV news there was a superjackpot of over $30 millions for Mark VI, the betting of which would close by 9:30. (Mark VI is a lottery in Hong Kong which is similar to Lotto in Australia.)
So I hastened. I scrambled through my phone books to look for the telephone number for the Telebet Centre. Things were usually not there at the time you needed them most.
At 9:15, I began to panic. I was nowhere but to resort to the internet for help. I keyed in 'Mark VI' to a search engine, hoping that it would return some relevant websites which I might find the phone number to place my bets. I forgot whether it was Google or Yahoo. Anyway I did, and guess what came back!
It returned:

'St. Mark's Gospel, Chapter Six'

"Oh no. Not at this time." I sighed. It was 9:25.

The search engine was so smart to try to stop me from plunging all my fortune in that go at the very last moments. Thank you.

Voice Recognition System

I was working on my tax return two months ago. I needed the total payment for my internet connection for claiming the Education Tax Refund. My connection was with Optus broadband cable. As all payments were made via direct debit, I had to ask Optus for hardcopies of the bills for the last 12 months to substantiate my claim. So I called the Optus Customer Services Hotline.
After the general greetings, the Voice System asked, "In a few words, please tell me what you'd like to do today."
I said, : "Account enquiry"
The Voice System said, " Thank you. To assist me to go further, please tell me your mobile number if you have an Optus mobile, otherwise, just say I don't have one."
As I didn't have an Optus mobile, I followed the instruction and said, " I don't have one."
But the Voice System replied, " Sorry, I have difficulty to understand you.", and repeated, "Please tell me your mobile number if you have an Optus mobile, otherwise, just say I don't have one."
I then said gently and slowly, " I ----- don't ----- have ------ one." I thought a kindie kid would be able to understand me this time.
But the Voice System replied again, "Sorry, I have difficulty to understand you.", and repeated, " Please tell me ------------ don't have one."
I began to lose myself. I raised my voice and shouted to the phone, " I DON'T HAVE ONE. DAMN IT."
And the Voice System replied, " Transferring you to an operator.", and there went the music.
15 minutes later, all my queries and requests were fully answered by a human behind. That was Voice Recognition System.

Perhaps this VRS only recognises English with Aussie accents.

My New Blog

My 12-year old Johnson helped me set up this blog. It seemed easy. Next comes the difficult part: finding what to blog.

Well, I guess I can share some stories I heard or something I came across which I think may be interesting.

Let's see how it goes.