A crowded airline flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"
Without flinching, the agent smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."
Learn not only how to survive the storm, but also how to dance in the rain.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
施氏食獅史
《施氏食獅史》是一篇由中國語言學家趙元任所寫的設限文章，全文共92字 ，每字的普通話讀音相近（拼音為 shi），只有聲調相異. 全文摘錄如下:
《施氏食獅史》
若以普通話讀出, 將為如下:
« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »
Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
Shì shì shì shì.
The English translation is as follows:
« The Story of Mr Shi Eating Lions »
In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.
黎明在 « 玻璃之城 » 一片中, 亦有一句對白 (共七字):
亦屬異曲同功. 唯獨是規模畧小一點而已.
《施氏食獅史》
石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。
氏時時適市視獅。
十時，適十獅適市。
是時，適施氏適市。
氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。
氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。
石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。
石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。
食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅屍。
試釋是事。
若以普通話讀出, 將為如下:
« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »
Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
Shì shì shì shì.
The English translation is as follows:
« The Story of Mr Shi Eating Lions »
In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.
黎明在 « 玻璃之城 » 一片中, 亦有一句對白 (共七字):
"西施死時四十四"
亦屬異曲同功. 唯獨是規模畧小一點而已.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The Thief And The Con Man
A thief and a con man entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the thief stole 3 chocolate bars.
After they left the store, the thief said to the con man, "Man, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that." The con man replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you the real stealing."
So they went to the counter and the con man said to the shopkeeper, "Do you want to see some magic ?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes." The con man said: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The con man then asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.
The shopkeeper was perplexed and asked: "But where's the magic?" The con man replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate."
After they left the store, the thief said to the con man, "Man, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that." The con man replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you the real stealing."
So they went to the counter and the con man said to the shopkeeper, "Do you want to see some magic ?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes." The con man said: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The con man then asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.
The shopkeeper was perplexed and asked: "But where's the magic?" The con man replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate."
Sunday, April 21, 2013
H7N9 - What Is It?
There are 3 types of influenza viruses: A, B and C.
Type A viruses can infect humans, birds, pigs, horses and other animals, and wild birds are the natural hosts for these viruses. They are subject to gradual mutations (known as antigenic drift) as well as sudden changes in their surface proteins (known as antigenic shift). They are very dynamic and are continuously changing. Current vaccines may not be able to work to prevent or cure the disease, hence global surveillance is critical to monitor for their evolution. Because of their variability, type A viruses can cause major pandemics (spread over large areas).
Type B viruses can usually only infect humans. They undergo only gradual antigenic drift and cause only centralised epidemics (spread over small localised areas).
Type C viruses can only infect and cause mild illness in humans and are antigenically stable (i.e. they do not undergo any antigenic drift and antigenic shift). They cause only sporadic diseases and do not cause epidemics or pandemics.
Influenza type A viruses are further classified into subtypes on the basis of two proteins on the surface of the virus: hemagglutinin (H) and neuraminidase (N). There are 16 different hemagglutinin subtypes (H1 to H16) and 9 neuraminidase subtypes (N1 to N9). Various combinations of hemagglutinin (H) and neuraminidase (N) subtypes are possible. Following are some known influenza type A viruses:
H1N1 - Spanish flu pandemic of 1918 and swine flu pandemic of 2009
H2N2 - Asian flu pandemic of 1957
H3N2 - Hong Kong flu pandemic of 1968
H3N8 - frequently found in horses
H5N1 - bird flu
H5N2 - highly capable to produce diseases in chickens
H7N7 - 2003 poultry epidemic
H7N9 - new bird flu in China of 2013
Influenza type B and type C viruses are not classified into subtypes.
The influenza virus recently found in China is rightly named as Type A H7N9 virus because it is of the Type A influenza virus with hemagglutinin 7 and neuraminidase 9 subtype proteins. It was first reported to have infected humans in March, 2013.
(Information are mostly sourced from 'Influenza Viruses, November 2005, Centre of Disease Control USA')
Type A viruses can infect humans, birds, pigs, horses and other animals, and wild birds are the natural hosts for these viruses. They are subject to gradual mutations (known as antigenic drift) as well as sudden changes in their surface proteins (known as antigenic shift). They are very dynamic and are continuously changing. Current vaccines may not be able to work to prevent or cure the disease, hence global surveillance is critical to monitor for their evolution. Because of their variability, type A viruses can cause major pandemics (spread over large areas).
Type B viruses can usually only infect humans. They undergo only gradual antigenic drift and cause only centralised epidemics (spread over small localised areas).
Type C viruses can only infect and cause mild illness in humans and are antigenically stable (i.e. they do not undergo any antigenic drift and antigenic shift). They cause only sporadic diseases and do not cause epidemics or pandemics.
Influenza type A viruses are further classified into subtypes on the basis of two proteins on the surface of the virus: hemagglutinin (H) and neuraminidase (N). There are 16 different hemagglutinin subtypes (H1 to H16) and 9 neuraminidase subtypes (N1 to N9). Various combinations of hemagglutinin (H) and neuraminidase (N) subtypes are possible. Following are some known influenza type A viruses:
H1N1 - Spanish flu pandemic of 1918 and swine flu pandemic of 2009
H2N2 - Asian flu pandemic of 1957
H3N2 - Hong Kong flu pandemic of 1968
H3N8 - frequently found in horses
H5N1 - bird flu
H5N2 - highly capable to produce diseases in chickens
H7N7 - 2003 poultry epidemic
H7N9 - new bird flu in China of 2013
Influenza type B and type C viruses are not classified into subtypes.
The influenza virus recently found in China is rightly named as Type A H7N9 virus because it is of the Type A influenza virus with hemagglutinin 7 and neuraminidase 9 subtype proteins. It was first reported to have infected humans in March, 2013.
(Information are mostly sourced from 'Influenza Viruses, November 2005, Centre of Disease Control USA')
Friday, April 12, 2013
A Random Act of Kindness
I recently read an article in my son's school magazine, the Knoxonian. It was an extract of an email from a father of a Year 7 boy to the Headmaster in which I quote below. Charlie is the name I use for the Year 7 boy for the sake of this story.
'Good morning.
I just want to let you know of a very positive experience that my son, Charlie in Year 7, encountered at school yesterday. Actually, it was Charlie himself who asked me if I could email you to let you know about what took place.
The Year 7s had only just received their ID cards this week. I told Charlie he could get his lunch from the canteen yesterday by using his new card, however I had forgotten to register his ID number on the Flexischools website.
Charlie went to the canteen and ordered his lunch, only to be told his card was not working and he then thought he would have to go without lunch. Then to his surprise, a lovely Year 12 boy (or Year 11) told the canteen staff that he would pay for his lunch. Charlie thanked him profusely and before he could ask his name the boy told Charlie not to worry as "sometimes it happens".
Charlie was obviously very grateful to this boy, as it was the first thing he told me about his day when I picked him up yesterday. I'm sure it is something Charlie will remember for many years to come, and that should he ever come across a new boy or any other person in the future that requires a helping hand, he remembers this kind act shown towards him in his early days in Year 7.
I was hoping there might be some way of thanking this mystery boy, as I think this young man should be acknowledged for his thoughtfulness.
It is also a wonderful example of the type of young man that Knox Grammar sends out into our community.'
The story was indeed a very simple one, and yet the significance has been profound. A lovely 'mystery' boy did something which he regarded as natural as something "sometimes it happens". But he probably wasn't aware that the seemingly unimportant matter could have caused an overwhelming effect on a Year 7 boy, and to the father of the Year 7 boy. It could be totally out of his imagination that his random act of kindness had so much enhanced the image of the school and encouraged a selfless, good-spirited and more connected community. There are plenty of such (good) stories happening around us everyday provided we have the time and heart to observe.
'Good morning.
I just want to let you know of a very positive experience that my son, Charlie in Year 7, encountered at school yesterday. Actually, it was Charlie himself who asked me if I could email you to let you know about what took place.
The Year 7s had only just received their ID cards this week. I told Charlie he could get his lunch from the canteen yesterday by using his new card, however I had forgotten to register his ID number on the Flexischools website.
Charlie went to the canteen and ordered his lunch, only to be told his card was not working and he then thought he would have to go without lunch. Then to his surprise, a lovely Year 12 boy (or Year 11) told the canteen staff that he would pay for his lunch. Charlie thanked him profusely and before he could ask his name the boy told Charlie not to worry as "sometimes it happens".
Charlie was obviously very grateful to this boy, as it was the first thing he told me about his day when I picked him up yesterday. I'm sure it is something Charlie will remember for many years to come, and that should he ever come across a new boy or any other person in the future that requires a helping hand, he remembers this kind act shown towards him in his early days in Year 7.
I was hoping there might be some way of thanking this mystery boy, as I think this young man should be acknowledged for his thoughtfulness.
It is also a wonderful example of the type of young man that Knox Grammar sends out into our community.'
The story was indeed a very simple one, and yet the significance has been profound. A lovely 'mystery' boy did something which he regarded as natural as something "sometimes it happens". But he probably wasn't aware that the seemingly unimportant matter could have caused an overwhelming effect on a Year 7 boy, and to the father of the Year 7 boy. It could be totally out of his imagination that his random act of kindness had so much enhanced the image of the school and encouraged a selfless, good-spirited and more connected community. There are plenty of such (good) stories happening around us everyday provided we have the time and heart to observe.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
茶餐廳事件
噚日晌茶餐廳食晏, 睇完一輪餐牌後叫伙記落單.
我話, "咖哩雞飯, 唔該."
伙記話, "講英文吖, 唔該."
我心諗, "嘩! 你明明同我講中文. 點解要我講英文㗎." 我繼續諗, "哦! 佢可能喺 ABC (Australian Born Chinese), 可能唔明."
於是我決定就就佢. 用純正嘅英文同佢講, "Curry chicken with rice, please."
伙記睜大雙眼望住我, "我問你要 A, B, C 淨 D 餐咋."
我話, "咖哩雞飯, 唔該."
伙記話, "講英文吖, 唔該."
我心諗, "嘩! 你明明同我講中文. 點解要我講英文㗎." 我繼續諗, "哦! 佢可能喺 ABC (Australian Born Chinese), 可能唔明."
於是我決定就就佢. 用純正嘅英文同佢講, "Curry chicken with rice, please."
伙記睜大雙眼望住我, "我問你要 A, B, C 淨 D 餐咋."
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Epilog - The Search For Happiness
"Has the rich man found happiness?"
As promised, if indeed the rich man got the answer from the Master, he should give his bag of his whole fortune to him as reward. He would then lose all that he had AGAIN. Would he still be happy or not happy? The question seems to be too materialistic and any answer whatsoever may spoil the whole story. But it's a real question for the real situation in the real world. It's a question too difficult for the writer. The writer has to go and find another (cleverer) Master for an answer!
The rich man would reply, "Well. Your answer is good, but not as good as what I wanted .............. Here's $5000. Thanks very much for your time." It might be a truly happy ending for everyone!
As promised, if indeed the rich man got the answer from the Master, he should give his bag of his whole fortune to him as reward. He would then lose all that he had AGAIN. Would he still be happy or not happy? The question seems to be too materialistic and any answer whatsoever may spoil the whole story. But it's a real question for the real situation in the real world. It's a question too difficult for the writer. The writer has to go and find another (cleverer) Master for an answer!
The rich man would reply, "Well. Your answer is good, but not as good as what I wanted .............. Here's $5000. Thanks very much for your time." It might be a truly happy ending for everyone!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
The Search For Happiness
A very rich man had a lot of money. He could buy everything he wanted to have. But he was not happy at all, for which he was very annoyed.
One day, he had a strange idea. He put all his wealth including jewelry, gold and all his valuables into a bag, and carried it to start off a journey. He was trying to search for someone who could tell him how to find happiness, and in return he would give him his bag as reward. He travelled afar to lots of places, asked lots of people and spent tirelessly lots of time in order to search for an answer. Despite the effort, he was unable to find anyone who could give him a satisfactory answer.
Finally he came to a small village. A local resident told him he could try to visit a Master living there who was a very clever man and might be able to help him with an answer. So the rich man was very excited and went up to see the Master who was sitting in a small room meditating. He approached the Master and said earnestly, "Master. All the wealth in my whole life is in this bag. If you could tell me the method to find happiness, this bag will be yours." The Master didn't say a word. He stood up and suddenly grabbed the rich man's bag of fortune and ran away from the house very quickly. The rich man was shocked and didn't know how to react. He then became desperate. He tried to chase the Master but as a new comer to the place, he was not able to do so. He went back to the house, feeling he was cheated. He was very sad as he felt he lost all that he had.
Half an hour later, the Master suddenly returned. He handed back the bag to the rich man and said, "Here is your bag. All the things are still inside untouched." Seeing he got back all he had, the rich man cheered up again. The Master asked, " Do you feel happy now?" To which, the rich man nodded. The Master then continued, "Good. You have already got your answer now."
Happiness does not rest on what and how much you own. Appreciate what you are having is the key. At most times, happiness is already around us, but we just failed to realize.
One day, he had a strange idea. He put all his wealth including jewelry, gold and all his valuables into a bag, and carried it to start off a journey. He was trying to search for someone who could tell him how to find happiness, and in return he would give him his bag as reward. He travelled afar to lots of places, asked lots of people and spent tirelessly lots of time in order to search for an answer. Despite the effort, he was unable to find anyone who could give him a satisfactory answer.
Finally he came to a small village. A local resident told him he could try to visit a Master living there who was a very clever man and might be able to help him with an answer. So the rich man was very excited and went up to see the Master who was sitting in a small room meditating. He approached the Master and said earnestly, "Master. All the wealth in my whole life is in this bag. If you could tell me the method to find happiness, this bag will be yours." The Master didn't say a word. He stood up and suddenly grabbed the rich man's bag of fortune and ran away from the house very quickly. The rich man was shocked and didn't know how to react. He then became desperate. He tried to chase the Master but as a new comer to the place, he was not able to do so. He went back to the house, feeling he was cheated. He was very sad as he felt he lost all that he had.
Half an hour later, the Master suddenly returned. He handed back the bag to the rich man and said, "Here is your bag. All the things are still inside untouched." Seeing he got back all he had, the rich man cheered up again. The Master asked, " Do you feel happy now?" To which, the rich man nodded. The Master then continued, "Good. You have already got your answer now."
Happiness does not rest on what and how much you own. Appreciate what you are having is the key. At most times, happiness is already around us, but we just failed to realize.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Love - In The Eyes of The Kids
A question was posted to a group of 4-8 year-olds:
"What does love mean?"
Here are some of the answers:
Rebecca (8) -
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore ... So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
Billy (4) -
Love is when my Mommy kisses me in bed, I give her a kiss too.
Karl (5) -
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Chrissy (6) -
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Terri (4) -
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
Danny (7) -
Love is when Mommy makes coffee for my Daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to Daddy, to make sure the taste is ok.
Emily (8) -
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Nikky (7) -
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday ...
Tommy (6) -
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
Cindy (8) -
During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my Daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.
Clare (6) -
My Mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
Elaine (5) -
Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.
Chris (7) -
Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he's handsomer than Tom Cruise.
Mary Ann (4) -
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
Lauren (5) -
I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.
Karen (7) -
When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Mark (6) -
Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross ...
Jessica (8) -
You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
And the final one came from 4-year-old Charlie whose neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Charlie said, "I saw the man cry. I went into the man's yard, climbed onto his lap and sat there ..." When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbour, Charlie continued, "I did nothing. I just watched him cry."
This is love.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Cantonese Terms Originated From English
Some Cantonese terms are said to have originated from English. Following is a collection:
派頭 - pride
疴畢甩 - all blood
蛇guare - scared
仆街 - poor guy
薯嘜 - schmuck
花臣 - fashion
蝦碌 - hard luck
老粒 - rob
符碌 - fluke
唱錢 - change
茄呢啡 - carefree
咕喱 - coolie
發蹄腾 - frightened
频能 - panic
爆格 - burglary
嗌交 - argue
木獨- moody
sar霖 - salute
哂冷 - show hand
呼佬 - full house
嗱茜 - lazy
撈sau - lousy
直筆甩 - straight
爆缸 - bludgeon
麻甩佬 - bloke
𡃁(仔) - lad
(慶過) lart 雞 - liquor
(眼) 碌碌 - look look
(喊到)飛呢發辣 - fully flated
(我)丙(你) - punch
泊(車) - park
索(女) - sharp
腾雞 - frightened
冚扮爛 - all brands
他條 - tardy
吱喳 - chatter
巴閉 - bossy
古板 - stubborn
盟塞 - stuffed
無厘頭 - moony
笨ch七 - blunt
威水 - wealthy
可口可樂 - Coca Cola
摩登 - modern
時尚 - chic
忌廉 - cream
巴士 - bus
的士 - taxi
一啤 - pair
士啤 - spare
士多 - store
多士 - toast
派對 - party
士的 - stick
咭 - card
呔 - tyre/tie
(蛋)撻 - tart
派頭 - pride
疴畢甩 - all blood
蛇guare - scared
仆街 - poor guy
薯嘜 - schmuck
花臣 - fashion
蝦碌 - hard luck
老粒 - rob
符碌 - fluke
唱錢 - change
茄呢啡 - carefree
咕喱 - coolie
發蹄腾 - frightened
频能 - panic
爆格 - burglary
嗌交 - argue
木獨- moody
sar霖 - salute
哂冷 - show hand
呼佬 - full house
嗱茜 - lazy
撈sau - lousy
直筆甩 - straight
爆缸 - bludgeon
麻甩佬 - bloke
𡃁(仔) - lad
(慶過) lart 雞 - liquor
(眼) 碌碌 - look look
(喊到)飛呢發辣 - fully flated
(我)丙(你) - punch
泊(車) - park
索(女) - sharp
腾雞 - frightened
冚扮爛 - all brands
他條 - tardy
吱喳 - chatter
巴閉 - bossy
古板 - stubborn
盟塞 - stuffed
無厘頭 - moony
笨ch七 - blunt
威水 - wealthy
可口可樂 - Coca Cola
摩登 - modern
時尚 - chic
忌廉 - cream
巴士 - bus
的士 - taxi
一啤 - pair
士啤 - spare
士多 - store
多士 - toast
派對 - party
士的 - stick
咭 - card
呔 - tyre/tie
(蛋)撻 - tart
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